I Am Not Qualified For This

We all know that being Mommy is one of the most important jobs in the world. And that it’s crazy hard! But I was reflecting on it this morning and I came to a conclusion. I am not qualified for this. This morning I had to call my sons school to let them know he would be absent. All I could think to myself was, “This feels wrong. Shouldn’t an adult be doing this?”

To be completely honest, I often feel like a total fraud. I’ll be trying to get some chores done, or working on a budget and I just wonder who could have been dumb enough to leave me in charge here. I feel like a teenager who’s been given too much responsibility! I’ve got to admit, I’m a young-ish mom. But growing up I always assumed that doing grown up things would make me feel grown up. And having kids would make me feel like a super grown up. Um, no. Just a regular young person who happens to have popped out a few tiny humans. Let’s face it, if becoming a mom was more like applying for a job, many of us wouldn’t make it!

If I had to go back in time and put in an application for Mommyhood, it would be pretty empty. Experience? My mom asking me to watch my nephew for a few minutes while she answers the phone doesn’t exactly count. How about schooling? Well, if there’s a mommy school I’ve never heard of it. My high school had a very brief, very awkward sex ed class with nothing on what to do if that condom breaks. So let’s just say none on education. How about all the other things that come along with having children? The normal, I’m an adult and need to manage my own life sort of things. Nothing. I’ve got nothing there either. I was beautifully naive and my husband and I were certain we’d make amazing parents. That was enough for us. I mean, we’ve got all this love to give! How could it go wrong? In an interview, I would have recieved a polite handshake, a doubtful “I’ll let you know,” and I’d never hear from that job again.

That is the beauty in becoming a parent, I think. We throw ourselves into it thinking we know everything, only to find out we don’t. But our babies usually do. My kids have taught me more on how to be a mommy than any article or book ever could. They don’t know that I don’t know what I’m doing. Shh… Don’t tell them! But they know what they need and what they want. It’s my job to figure it out. It’s my job to love on them, teach them whatever I can and be a good example. And if I have some growing up to do in the process, then we can do that together. After all, if you can’t grow and learn, then how do you teach your kids to?