For Those Who Are Currently Silent

 

What is happening with the world these days? I feel like every time I pick up my phone, yahoo pops up to tell me of another shooting. Another protest gone bad, another natural disaster. Death, destruction, hate, hate, hate. I used to know all about what’s going on in the world. But at this point, I just can’t.

If we get together and you bring up the latest cop shooting, or the local black lives matter protest, I’m sorry. Chances are, I’ll listen, I’ll nod and I will do my best to be a part of the conversation. But my eyes will glaze over and my heart will ache. I will be polite and pay attention as much as I can until I can safely veer the conversation elsewhere.

I have tried too hard, for too long and I just can’t pretend anymore. It’s getting bad out there. The world is sick and it’s contagious. It’s terrifying and depressing. Oh, there’s the word I was looking for.

DEPRESSING

I’ve had one person tell me a few times in my life that I’m too sensitive. That I need to develop a thicker skin. And to be honest, she’s right. The thing is, I don’t know how to do that. I try to be tough, and I even try to look tough sometimes. But realistically, I wear my heart on my sleeve and my skin is thin as paper.

And now that November is fast approaching, everyone’s favorite thing to talk about is the election. This one is something I’m not ashamed to be silent on. No matter what side you’re on, I won’t judge you. But the fighting, the hate, the lies and the intolerance has gone too far. At this point, it doesn’t matter much who wins. Either way, people have started hating each other again with a passion that hasn’t been seen so closely in a long time. It’s absolutely heartbreaking.

So to those of you who have been silent, I get it. I get that you don’t want to bring up politics, for fear of your friends and loved ones arguing about it. I get that you can’t talk about the latest rallies, the protests gone violent and the police shootings. I get that you just look away with sad, silent eyes when you hear about Hurricane Matthew. Because you are me. I may be too sensitive, but I’m also too compassionate. I don’t choose not to talk of these things because I don’t care, but because I care too much. And I can’t take it.

Be it depression, anxiety or just too kind a heart, not everyone is equipped to deal with a world like this. So if you’ve been silent, know that you are not alone. You do not need to feel guilty. And if you need someone to talk to that won’t break your heart with the morning news, I’m here.

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