When a simple facebook post restored my faith in people

Recently my local MOPS group had an outing to Dearborn Market. There was a hay ride, corn maze, hay maze, stacks to climb and the kids got to pick their own pumpkins. There was a little party afterwards in one of the greenhouses, with juice and cookies for the kids. It was a good time and my kids had a blast! Whenever we can get through an outing like that with no meltdowns it’s a miracle! That day we had nothing but smiling faces. And with my new medication, I was happily watching my kids play with no anxiety. No freaking out if I couldn’t see them for a few seconds, no worrying they’d fall and get hurt. It was amazing. Happy kids, happy mommy.

Until we got back to the car. My son got in, and instead of sitting in his seat, he started looking around with a worried look. “Mommy, where’s Momo?” I think I had one of those terrified, deadpan stares that you see in movies. His favorite monkey blanket, his calming item and favorite buddy in the world was missing. In the biggest maze of a place you could imagine. Staying calm, I brought the kids inside and had someone write down my name and number with a description of his blankie. I hoped for the best and explained to my son that Momo might take a few days to come home.

My boy is getting big now, so he doesn’t have his buddy on him constantly anymore, and he was fine at first. But then life got tough like it does for him, and meltdowns ensued. He cried and cried for Momo and my heart broke. I knew I had to do something. So I decided to do the modern thing, go on Facebook and put up a post asking for help.

12670592_10208710034651579_8503330544327427462_n

Hey everyone! This is gonna seem silly to some people but I’m desperate. I took my kids to Dearborn Market the other day for the whole Hay ride, corn field maze, pumpkin picking thing. Kids had a blast but my son lost his lovey that he’s had since he was born. If he was a ‘regular’ kid with a regular toy, I’d let it go. But my big guy has sensory processing disorder and life is very tough for him sometimes. His little blanket (Momo) is a huge help when he’s having a rough day. It’s his calming item and we are going crazy without it. Dearborn has our info and has promised to call if it’s found, but no luck so far. If anyone happened to see it, please get in touch! My boy is very sad without his Momo.

What came next was not what I expected. People quickly took notice and started offering prayers that we’d find it. People started sharing the post and begging others to help. And I quickly lost count of the amount of employees who took their own time to search the grounds themselves. I was overwhelmed with a sense of compassion and caring from my community on something that I didn’t think many would even notice. My post ended up getting shared over 1300 times by the time I gave up the search.

But in the meantime, my son was hurting. He would cry for his Momo during every meltdown and refused every offer of comfort. His Daddy even came home one day with a similar looking blanket and it was immediately rejected. Sadly, Momo was never found. Instead, we replaced it with the help of more concerned citizens. A dozen of whom had sent me links to find what I was looking for.

During his first meltdown with his new Momo, he had the saddest face and told me, “He’s not the same! I MISS him!” My heart was breaking as I explained that Momo couldn’t come home, so he sent his friend. Eventually, my boy calmed down, stuck his thumb in his mouth and started snuggling the new Momo. And he’s embraced it ever since.

15170785_10211380598414004_9121045020253023869_n

I’ll never forget how a community banned together to help a little boy they didn’t even know. The amazing support I recieved from complete strangers. The feeling of compassion and love in such a hard time from a world that too often doesn’t understand. My little guy went through a very hard time, but I can easily say his Mama was able to keep her head, with so many people behind us, cheering us on and offering help.

And it made me think, for once, maybe us special needs parents aren’t as alone as we thought.

Thanksgiving Dinner with Sensory Processing Disorder

thanksgiving-background

Thanksgiving. A time with family and friends, good food, good times and good memories. I think it’s ingrained into the brain of a mom to imagine a picture perfect Thanksgiving dinner. A beautiful table setup with all the food coming out hot, on time and cooked to perfection. The family sitting nicely together, getting along and praising the kids for eating such a wide variety of foods.

But then there’s reality. While we all struggle trying to make the holidays as awesome as we can, it’s a bit much to handle when you’ve got an unwelcome guest. In my family, its name is Sensory Processing Disorder.

Sensory processing disorder is a condition where the brain has trouble receiving and responding to information that comes in through the senses. There are triggers everywhere that I can’t even begin to comprehend. And since my son had a speech delay, he communicated solely through meltdowns for a long time.

So imagine Thanksgiving. Being in someone elses home is a trigger. So is the noise of conversation. The weird smells of foods he never eats. Strange rooms, a different color carpet, a pet that he’s never encountered, family he doesn’t see often, I could go on and on. Instead of the joy we used to experience, holidays started feeling like strenuous obligations instead of happy occasions.

2e9e99e12d87fe441b8033b7bb7cbf8c

In years past, we had no clue what we were dealing with. We were as confused as anyone as to why he acted the way he did. We didn’t know how to deal with it, and it showed. Things were tough. I wasn’t. Not anymore. Now that we can put a name to my sons behavior, things are going to change. Now we know there’s a reason he acts the way he does, even if we don’t understand it. Now we can show up for holidays armed with distractions, foods that he will eat, and a bit more grace for his meltdowns. Maybe even a bit more grace for ourselves.

So to our families…

You may find us hiding in the kitchen with a glass of wine, hiding in the bathroom, or roaming the house looking for our boy. We may run off mid-sentence to prevent trouble, or cut you off to yell at him to stop touching something. We will not both be able to sit down and actually eat, and some food may end up on the floor. Ears may be pierced with screams and you might even get kicked if you happen to be standing near him when he throws himself on the ground. By the end of the night, both of us will look even more tired and frustrated than the kids. But it’s okay. Because that means we survived another family holiday. Eventually it will get easier, and holidays will be less hectic. But in the meantime, thank you for having us. Thank you for inviting us over and over again, no matter how many times we’ve had to leave early or run around like maniacs. Thank you for not offering advice when we just needed peace. Thank you for not judging. Thank you for loving our boy even when he’s difficult to handle. Because he loves you all too, and despite how he acts, he’s been very excited to see you. And despite how tired we look, we are always happy we came.

You can also find this story on theMighty.

Time to choose,Who’s with me?

spread-kindness

It’s over. This circus of an election is officially over and everyone has an opinion. Many people are angry, many are afraid. No one can deny that we are making history right now, but history books are no fairy tales. I try to be a positive, the glass is half full and half hopeful, kind of person. But right now I am scared. And I’m not talking about our new President elect. That’s a whole other level in itself. I’m talking about us, the American people. No matter who you voted for, and how you feel about it now, the way we react to the upcoming year is what will make a difference.

We have a choice ahead of us. We can choose to fight hatred with hatred. Fight fear with giving them something to be afraid of. To protest and shout and make some noise. To stoop down to the level of the people who scare us.

We can fight back with kindness. With empathy, with strength, empowerment and with love. So let’s start a movement. Let’s start this new coming year in the best way we possibly can. I’m making a pledge, right here, right now. To push away the hatred, to fight against the racism, the homophobia, the ignorance and the cowardice that’s overtaking people right now. I pledge to live my life by loving those around me. I pledge to perform random acts of kindness, smile at everyone I see and support those who need it. I don’t care what color you are, who you love or who you voted for. I DON’T CARE.

kindness-1

I want to pass down love to my kids. I want them to grow up with memories of packing shoeboxes of gifts for kids who have nothing. I want them to remember soup kitchens, offering change when someone can’t afford their groceries. I want them to remember their parents treating everyone with kindness and respect, not putting anyone down for being different than we are. That is how we can change things.