Recently I made a very brave and kind of disastrous decision. Against the warning of my husband, I decided to put the kids in the same bedroom. The thought was good, I figured if I put their beds in one room, I could make the other into a play room. They could get their energy out during the day, and be free of trouble when they are supposed to be sleeping at night. Sounds like a good plan, right?
So in case anyone needs a laugh and would like to think of their own children as angels for a minute, here’s a timeline of how this past week has gone.
- First night: Boy removes all diapers and wipes from the diaper station in the closet and throws them all around the room. Same with every single toy. Both kids stay up giggling/fighting and playing with every talking/singing toy they have at the same time. Mommy removes all talking toys, puts the diapers away, sleepily hides the diapers and puts the wipes in a plastic bag.
- Second night: Kids are playing, we hear them fight for a minute, then boy starts screaming. Mommy runs upstairs to find him with a black eye, and girl looking guilty. Elsa is confiscated and classified as a weapon, boo boos are kissed and Tylenol is administered. Girl gets talk about not using Disney princesses to beat up her brother. Repeat after me, Elsa is NOT a weapon!
- Third night: Mommy and Daddy have a date night! Our wonderful babysitters check on the kids and find diaper cream everywhere. Not so bad, considering. It’s cleaned up and Mommy confiscates all diaper cream. (Even though it was up high in the first place!) These guys are tricky. How did they reach that high?!
- Fourth night: Kids stay up too late again, less fighting and more playing. Lots of screaming though. Mommy tells them to shush and go to bed a thousand times. Tempers are lost, apologies made and everybody gets hugs and kisses.
- Wake up to find an entire bottle of lotion covering the carpet, blankets and my daughters bed. I guess they needed to make up for the lack of trouble the night before. Also, where the heck did the lotion come from?
- Fifth night: Beds have been changed and room cleaned. Kids get quiet earlier than usual. With naive hope, Mommy goes to check on “sleeping” kids. Every single piece of clothing has been removed from drawers, and every shirt torn from the closet. Diaper station, although now empty, is torn down and thrown on the floor. Toys everywhere. Wipes out of baggie and all over the floor. Child sized rocking chair has been placed on top of daughters bed, and the beautiful Shakespeare quote on the wall has been torn off, letter by letter. Mommy, with fire burning in her eyes, tells children to get back in bed. They sense danger, and go to sleep with no more issues.
I may have missed a day or two in there. My memory has become selective due to high levels of crazy. It’s a good thing they’re cute.
Please, you wonderful mommies and daddies out there, please share if you have trouble makers too! I can’t be the only one about to lose my mind. And I hope to God somebody gets a laugh out of this. One day I may laugh about it too.