Keep the pictures

So I’ve been working on the blog, trying to make it look like a 10 year old didn’t design it, and I wanted to see if I had a good picture of my own that I could use for a header. I decided to click through my photos on Facebook to search. Instead of finding that picture perfect header, it turned into a half hour of clicking through old photos, reminiscing about old times and smiling so much that I’ve given myself a headache.

There was something that I couldn’t help noticing. Through all the pictures I looked through, I remember considering deleting so many of them for the silliest reason. I didn’t think I looked very good. We all want to look good in our own pictures, and I totally get that. But sometimes you’ve got to look wayyyyy past that.

I’ve got old photos of my youth group days and most of those people look so different now. We’ve all grown so much, and honestly, grown into ourselves, and it would be so easy to say, “I didn’t look good in this pic. I’m just gonna delete…”

Don’t do it!

In all those pictures that I was criticizing my own appearance, there were so many other things going on. In some, a friend was in the picture and they had the biggest smile on their face. In others, it brought up memories that I’d never wanna forget. Others still were just awash with nostalgia and impossible to trash. There are even old friends in some that I fell out with years ago, and there might be a bit of resentment there, but looking at those pictures doesn’t bring that up. It only shows how happy we were back then, and looking back helps to soften any hurt feelings that might still be lingering.

There were family members looking great who aren’t so healthy now and don’t smile much anymore. There were old friends who we haven’t seen in years. There were even memories of, “holy crap I forgot that I was ever thin!” And of course, there were the new parent pictures that I kind of hated at the time. I always thought I looked too big, or too tired, too something. But I don’t care anymore.

I’m no supermodel. Most of my pics, new or old, I’ve got a bit of a gut because my scoliosis has taken away my waist. I’m Irish and English and it’s impossible for me to keep a tan, so most of my pics I look like a ghost. Many pics that I wanted to be perfect weren’t because my glasses were broken. I’m extremely unphotogenic and many more photos have me blinking or making an awkward face or, whatever.

But my point, is that despite how I used to feel about my appearance in these pictures, I looked at them today and I smiled. I even got a little teary eyed.

So let this be a lesson. Take the picture with your friends, with your kids. With your spouse! Who cares if you didn’t have time to put makeup on? Or if you think you look tired or you think you need to lose weight first. Life won’t wait for you to put on your makeup. Life won’t wait for you to lose weight or get a tan or look your best. Life is happening, right here, right now, and I intend on capturing it. Makeup or not, sleepy mom eyes or not. My kids wanna look back on pictures and see their mama, and I wanna look back and see us all together. And now, I’ve got a new lifelong resolution.

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